Self Blame No More #5

Not being allowed to express my own rage, sadness, or fear I didn’t fully heal and I’ve gone through life wearing my little girl wounds like a tattoo. The dictionary describes a “wound” as an injury in which the skin is broken it also uses the description “mental hurt”.  “Scar” is described as a mark where a wound has been healed. I have several scars on my body from falling off of a bike, burning myself on an oven etc. These scars started out broken, painful & bloody wounds but with cleansing & the proper medication to avoid infection over time they closed up and healed.  The same is true of our emotional wounds, God is the cleansing balm, the medication for our anger, bitterness, depression, and anxiety only He can truly comfort and heal our wounded hearts. He weeps for our pain and wants to mend our injuries and fix our brokenness. God can fill the empty void and restore what man has taken away.

For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds”, says the LORD Jeremiah 30:17.


Yet Now Be Strong

I went to Church today and was so encouraged by sermon preached and am compelled to share with you hoping you will be inspired.

The title:  Yet Now Be Strong; in spite of everything, in the midst of a bad situation, the worst will not consume you.  Why?  Because God is with you! He is not in agreement with your negative situation, He’s on your side and has your world in His hands.  His strength gives you the ability to overcome so do not fear.   Do yo know what “fear” is?:  False Evidence Appearing Real.  God is not a man, He does not and cannot lie.  What was meant for your evil and harm He turns to good.  He will give you peace in the  midst of.  Amen, meaning it is done.

Self Blame No More #2

After I was raped the guilt, shame, and self-disdain I felt was unspeakable. I went in that house I was not forced in, I liked these people, and I even had a crush on one of the guys and I believe that he knew it. Did I somehow make him think that I wanted it because I liked him?

Was my need to be a part of their group so strong? Did I bring this on myself? These questions beat me down daily for many, many years leaving me bruised, battered and broken. I felt like Humpty Dumpty must have felt when he fell off the wall and no one could put him back together, I was shattered into a million pieces.

I was in a desolate place lonely, depressed, & hopeless.

I existed safely behind the walls I built around my delicate heart sure that no one could get through, over, under, or around them because they were impenetrable. On the outside I seemed to be strong while inside I was weak and afraid. I became deceptive pretending not to be sad, afraid and mistrustful. What you saw was a pretty, smiley face mask that hid my deepest pain. The words that I spoke and the way that I looked were part of the costume that I had designed. I was so ashamed that I convinced myself that if others got a glimpse behind the mask they’d see all of the cracks in my walls.

I began overeating bingeing regularly.   Food became my medication drug; my comfort; my distraction; my friend. However this friend became my enemy as I gained a tremendous amount of weight which opened me up to further embarrassment, humiliation and low self worth.

As the pounds packed on I’d berate myself along with my mother and others who teased me ruthlessly. My doctor put me on numerous diets that worked temporarily in taking off the weight that I’d regain and more on top of it but the real weight that I carried no diet could take away. What was seen on the outside was simply a symptom of what was on the inside.

I read an article written by a Psychologist who explained that oftentimes victims of abuse will attempt to destroy their physical selves as a means of self-protection. In other words if you do not find me attractive then you won’t desire to touch me in inappropriate ways. I found that statement profound and alarmingly true.

Resilience in the face of adversity

Resilience in the face of adversity

Cleveland kidnapped women move from Victims to Survivors.

Resilience: Build skills to endure hardship

Resilience means being able to adapt to life’s misfortunes and setbacks. Test your resilience level and get tips to build your own resilience.

By Mayo Clinic staff

When something goes wrong, do you tend to bounce back or fall apart?

When you have resilience, you harness inner strength that helps you rebound from a setback or challenge, such as a job loss, an illness, a disaster or the death of a loved one. If you lack resilience, you might dwell on problems, feel victimized, become overwhelmed or turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse.

Resilience won’t make your problems go away — but resilience can give you the ability to see past them, find enjoyment in life and better handle stress. If you aren’t as resilient as you’d like to be, you can develop skills to become more resilient.

Resilience means adapting to adversity

Resilience is the ability to roll with the punches. When stress, adversity or trauma strikes, you still experience anger, grief and pain, but you’re able to keep functioning — both physically and psychologically. Resilience isn’t about toughing it out, being stoic or going it alone. In fact, being able to reach out to others for support is a key component of being resilient.

Resilience and mental health

Resilience offers protection from various mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety. Resilience can also help offset factors that increase the risk of mental health conditions, such as lack of social support, being bullied or previous trauma. If you have an existing mental health condition, being resilient can improve your ability to cope.

Tips to improve your resilience

If you’d like to become more resilient, consider these tips:

  • Get connected. Building strong, positive relationships with loved ones and friends can provide you with needed support and acceptance in both good times and bad. Establish other important connections by doing volunteer work, getting involved in your community, or joining a faith or spiritual community.
  • Make every day meaningful. Do something that gives you a sense of accomplishment and purpose every day. Set goals to help you look toward the future with meaning.
  • Learn from experience. Think back on how you’ve coped with hardships in the past. Consider the skills and strategies that helped you through rough times. You might even write about past experiences in a journal to help you identify both positive and negative behavior patterns — and guide your behavior in the future.
  • Remain hopeful. You can’t change what’s happened in the past, but you can always look toward the future. Accepting and even anticipating change makes it easier to adapt and view new challenges with less anxiety.
  • Take care of yourself. Tend to your own needs and feelings, both physically and emotionally. Participate in activities and hobbies you enjoy. Include physical activity in your daily routine. Get plenty of sleep. Eat a healthy diet. To restore an inner sense of peace or calm, practice stress management and relaxation techniques, such as yoga, meditation, guided imagery, deep breathing or prayer.
  • Be proactive. Don’t ignore your problems or try to wish them away. Instead, figure out what needs to be done, make a plan and take action. Although it can take time to recover from a major setback, traumatic event or loss, know that your situation can improve if you actively work at it.

When to seek professional advice

Becoming more resilient takes time and practice. If you don’t feel you’re making progress — or you don’t know where to start — consider talking to a mental health provider. With guidance, you can improve your resiliency and mental well-being.